Cutting Down The Girl

Sickening razors, the blood that is lost,

The feeling of a high, that comes at a cost.

So lost and so torn, So broken and so beat.

A girl in her teens, suicide will defeat.

Holding a knife, she looks at the blade.

Down to her arms where scars she's made.

Want or need? to cut she shall think.

And cover herself in black not pink,

Her parents are yelling, cynical deceit,

A girl in her teens, suicide will defeat,

They see not the scars but only her mistakes,

And yell at her forever, until the day she breaks.

Falling to darkness, letting loose a few tears,

She falls to the razor, despite her fears.

Of blood and pain, she lives a sad life.

And so ends the girl with a suicide knife.

Chances are you don't understand this addiction that I have. You probably understand the addiction to alcohol or drugs, but you just can't seem to wrap your mind around why someone would go through the day thinking "I just want to cut." or "I need blood now." I know it's difficult to understand and it's okay, you don't have to because this is my battle. Most people will never understand how hard it is to ignore the urge to hurt myself. How hard it is to conquer the craving and how proud I feel when I do. I wish I had your innocence ignorance, but at the same time, I wish you'd understand. I sometimes wish you'd take it seriously instead of treating it like a joke. This isn't some rebellious stage, it's not for attention, it's to show you and everyone who thinks like you, that I'm here and I can handle my self on my own. These scars are not shameful, they're not something I regret, they're beautiful and they show who I am and how many wars I've won against the world. And for those of you who are reading this and comparing me to some book you read or an article or whatever else, understand that no matter how much you research, no matter how many people you interview, you don't understand. And never will.