Cutter's Temptation

My arm screams for pain
My eyes need to see the blood
My body needs to feel the relief
Glancing over at my hiding place every two seconds.
It's begging to be dragged across my pale scared arm.
No, I tell myself.
You can’t do this.
You promised you would quit.
But...
I can’t not do this.
I feel as if I'm being drawn to the blade.
Please somebody help me.
Before I do the damage that my mind aches for.
The crimson lines that used to be, oh so familiar.
Me and him used to be great friends.
I used to visit him often.
Till I was caught.
Please just let me, just this once.
I promise I will never do it again.
Please Lexi, don’t give in.
Just do it.
No don’t.
One time won't affect you, you can quit when things are less hetic.
You know that's not true. Things aren't even hetic.
Just do it.
No.
The voices in my mind fight.
Picking up the blade.
I already feel less numb.
Fine.
You won.
Say hello to the old Lexi.
Because she was much better off cutting, then suffering in silence.
I am a cutter.
Yet again...

[Poem I found on the internet. I don't know who wrote it, but I relate to it because this is happening to me. When this happens, I love it, but I hate it.]